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The Do’s and Don’ts of Wedding Toasts

Public speaking isn’t your forte, but you’ve been asked by your best friend to give a toast. “Palms are sweaty, weak knees, arms are heavy. You’re nervous.” What do I talk about? Do I make it funny? Will I sound cheesy? These are the questions you’re asking yourself. As a wedding coordinator, I’ve seen it all. From embarrassing long roasts to heartfelt toasts. These do’s and don’ts will help you ease your anxiety and nail your speech.

Photo Credit: Kimberly Brooke Photographic


DO- Tell everyone who you are and how you know the bride and groom

DON’T- Bring up how nervous you are and that you’re not a great public speaker

The first thing you want to do is introduce yourself. People are curious about your relationship with the couple. Consider opening with a joke, but don’t lead with a joke about how nervous you are. Talk about how you met the bride/groom, how they met, first impressions, and why they’re perfect for each other.

Photo Credit: Allison Jeffers Photography


DO- Say something to the bride, say something to the groom, and say something to them both as a couple.

DON’T- Address only the bride or only the groom

They are getting married, joining together as one. Don’t focus only on your friend, people want to hear about them both. Make it personal. Consider sharing a memory you have of each of them and then a memory you all have together. Explain why you think they’re a great couple, why you admire them together, and a piece of honest advice.

Photo Credit: Kimberly Brooke Photographic


DO- Keep it short and sweet

DON’T- Exceed 5 mins MAX

It’s a toast, not a speech. It’s important to keep the guests engaged and after about 5 minutes guests start to lose interest. People are eager to get out on the dance floor!

Photo Credit: Kimberly Brooke Photographic


DO- Be appropriate

DON’T- Include embarrassing moments

Save embarrassing moments for another time. As much fun as it can be to look back on all your crazy memories together, that’s not appropriate at a wedding. If you have to ask someone if you should include it, then you probably shouldn’t. It might be obvious but skip any stories about past significant others. Remember it's a toast, not a roast.

Photo Credit: Allison Jeffers Photography

DO- WRITE IT DOWN

DON’T- Wing it

I’ll scream it from the top of my lungs! WRITE IT DOWN! There is nothing worse than trying to say something heartfelt and memorable and you get in front of a room full of people and you blank and forget your speech. People start rambling and repeating themselves. You’re gonna tell me that that’s not going to be you and it won’t happen, but I promise you it will.


Don’t forget your ending. “So here’s to the happy couple! Prost!” or thank guests for coming. Now stop procrastinating and go write your speech and don’t forget to rehearse it! If you need extra help with writing a wedding toast, contact The Perfect Day!



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